Healing
by Akirafanatic
Summary: Mentions of childhood rape. Full of awkwardness, blushing, nearly sickeningly sweet moments, and mounds of fluff as the two help their third partner overcome his childhood trauma.
1. Chapter 1

**This is what happens when I try and write romance. There are mentions of past rape in here, so be warned.**

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Kaito settled back against the headboard and pulled Shinichi back towards him, lightly kissing where the blue eyed teens' neck met his shoulder. He smiled into the skin when his boyfriend tilted his head so the magician could have better access even as his blush started creeping down his neck.

Continuing his light kisses up the side of slightly older male, he let out a chuckle when Saguru sat on his right and wrapped one hand around his waist. He paused long enough to turn and kiss the blond in greeting before continuing his teasing kisses to his dark haired detectives' neck.

The eldest of the three took one of Shinichi's hand and brushed a gentle kiss to the back of it, enjoying the way his younger lovers' face darkened in embarrassment. The magician slowly slid his hands under the flushed teens' shirt and traced small circles along his hipbones, enjoying the way he squirmed and let out a strangled laugh.

The first time he and Saguru had found out Shinichi was ticklish there, the soccer player had kicked him. Hard. He'd been so mortified both by kicking his boyfriend and the fact his two lovers had found out where he was ticklish he'd locked himself away in the bathroom for a few hours until Kaito had finally picked the lock and dragged him out.

The magician had never imagined he'd be in a threesome, let alone with two detectives, but he wouldn't trade it for the world. He loved his two crime fighters and knew they loved him. The beginning was awkward, as they tried to figure out how to make it work without leaving someone out, but after a few months they'd gotten the hang of it.

Kaito had learned early on that neither Saguru nor Shinichi were big on public displays of affection, though the blond was more willing to at least hold hands when there weren't many people around. The blue eyed teen, however, was always uncomfortable with it. Instead, the magician was happily surprised when they learned Shinichi actually really enjoyed cuddling.

He was still embarrassed to initiate it, but he never complained when the other two pulled him close or wrapped their arms around him, and they'd come to learn to notice the signs of when he wanted to cuddle. It was Saguru who's found that the blue eyed teen was the most embarrassed by little romantic gestures. A kiss to the back of the hand, pulling out his chair for him, and especially a kiss to the forehead had him blushing from head to toe and tongue tied. It was adorable.

The eldest teen, on the other hand, was a romantic and loved doing little things for the younger two. He'd even cooked – a simple meal of spaghetti – for a candle lit dinner after their first month together. He would buy them flowers spontaneously or as a way of congratulations. He was at every magic show Kaito performed when he could be, and was the one who kept track of Shinichi's workload so the blue eyed teen wouldn't overwork himself – like he had before they'd started dating and was forced by nearly the entire division to take a one-week vacation.

Kaito was the one who cheered the two up after a particularly hard case. He'd always do his best to make them smile or comfort them. He also kept them on their toes by whisking them away for random day trips, sometimes leaving them riddles about where and when the next one would be.

Originally, the magician had thought he'd have to give up being KID when he got together with them. Yet when he'd brought it up, they had just smiled and said KID was a part of him and they'd never force him to give it up. They'd also admitted to enjoying his heists – though Saguru still grumbled about getting the most of his pranks. He couldn't help that the blond was so fun to tease and such an easy target.

It was also hard on them with their schedules, as even though they were university students Kaito's popularity as a magician was rising and he was scheduling more and more shows in other parts of Japan. Most of the time he spent at least two or three days away. Saguru, on the other hand, split his time between Japan and England. While the most was spent with them in Japan, he still went to visit his mother for a week or two at a time.

Surprisingly it was Shinichi who traveled the least. The blue eyed teen hardly went away, and when he did he typically didn't spend the night. The only exceptions to that were when he went to visit his parents – wherever they happened to be at the time – but even then he never stayed for longer than two or three days.

That being the case, it was normally Shinichi who wound up at the Kudo manor – where Saguru and Kaito had moved in at the start of university – alone. While the blond and the thief tried to match their schedules so at least one was with him, there were times it was impossible. The longest they had left him for was two weeks, as the blond was in England and the magician had a two-week tour over one of their longer breaks.

When Kaito had gotten back late the day before he'd told Shinichi he'd be home, he'd found the slightly older teen asleep, curled up on the couch and snuggling his pillow while wearing a pair of Saguru's pajamas. He'd realized then that while the blue eyed teen wouldn't say anything, he really missed them when they were gone.

Kaito had taken a photo and sent it to the blond before carrying the sleeping detective up to bed. They both had it set as their phones wallpaper, much to Shinichi's embarrassment.

The three had been together for nearly eight months now, and the magician was more than ready to try taking it to the next level.

Gently pushing his blue eyed detective off, he quickly flipped their positions so Shinichi was lying flat on is back and Kaito was on top of him. He grinned up at the blond who raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching into a smile.

The thief leaned over and stole a kiss from the blond before leaning down and kissing the other detective. He moved his left arm to the bed to brace himself and slipped his right hand back under Shinichi's shirt to lie flat on the blue eyed teens' stomach. He slowly slid it higher and felt the rapid heartbeat under his fingers.

"K-Kaito…" Shinichi's voice wavered slightly and the magician pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth.

"It's alright," He whispered, feeling Saguru's hand on his back and sliding lower. His own heart was beating fast, and he could feel himself starting to harden.

He kissed the teen below him as his right hand slid down the detectives' side and rested on his belt. He felt Shinichi's heart speed even faster and tense slightly as Kaito started to undo the belt. The magician kissed him reassuringly as Saguru pushed his shirt up and started trailing kissed along his spine. The thief shivered slightly at the sensation.

"Kaito," The blue eyed teens' voice was shaky. "I…"

"It's alright Shin-chan." He popped the button on Shinichi's pants.

"No…" The older teens' voice was nothing more than a whisper, and Kaito slowly started unbuttoning his dress shirt.

"Don't worry Shin-chan." He leaned down and kissed the slightly older teens' bellybutton when it was visible.

"S…" Kaito slowly undid the zipper as Saguru slowly started working on the magician's belt.

"Just relax."

"N…" The thief slid his hand around to the small of Shinichi's back and brought his left hand down to rub reassuring circles on his hip before hooking his fingers into the teens' belt loops. "N-No. Kaito! Stop!" The blue eyed detective pushed the magician away and curled onto his side. Shinichi squeezed his eyes shut and clutched his head with both hands as he tried to make himself smaller.

Sitting up, Kaito felt guilt stab at him when he saw actual tears in his boyfriends' eyes. He glanced at the blond, whose face was full of worry, before swallowing and saying, "I'm sorry Shin-chan." He reached out to wipe the tears away and felt a wave of hurt when the older teen actually flinched away from his touch.

"Shinichi," Saguru said softly, wrapping one arm around the magician. "Are you alright?" The two waited as the shaking detective took some deep breaths, muttering something inaudible to himself. The blond pressed a kiss to the thief's temple as their boyfriend's shaking finally lessened. Letting go, he slowly played a hand on the blue eyed teens' shoulder before gently pulling him into a hug. "Are you alright?" He repeated softly, one hand stroking the dark hair.

Shinichi nodded slightly, burying his face in Saguru's shoulder and clutching the blond's shirt in his hands. "S-Sorry."

"It was my fault Shin-chan," Kaito whispered, wrapping his arms around the two and squishing the blue eyed detective in the middle. "I shouldn't have pushed you. I'm sorry."

"Shinichi," Saguru said gently, his hand still slowly stroking the dark hair, "Were…" He paused and took a breath, "Did…someone hurt you?" He didn't answer, but the way the detectives' breathing hitched slightly and he tightened his grip gave them their answer.

"I-I'm sorry." Kaito could hear the hurt in his lovers' voice and another wave a guilt washed over him.

"No," The magician whispered, burying his nose in the crook of the other teens' neck, "No Shin-chan. Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault."

The blond kissed the top of Shinichi's head. "I wish you would have told us earlier."

"I…I d-didn't…" He trailed off, but Kaito knew what he was going to say. He didn't want them to know. He was afraid they might leave him, or not love him because of it. He was scared to tell them.

"Shinichi," The thief said softly, "This won't change anything between us. This won't make us love you any less." He nuzzled closer. "We've gotten this far without sex, and we're still perfectly happy."

"Why didn't you try to stop us the moment you realized what was going on? Why did you wait?"

Kaito could feel Shinichi's trembling. "I…I w-wanted…" He paused and tried to push further into Saguru. "I do-don't want…don't w-want that to-to be m-my only…only experience. I-I wanted t-to try." Kaito felt tears in his own eyes. Shinichi had wanted to try again, with them. He loved them so much he wanted to try and push past his trauma.

"Even so," Saguru said gently, "You need to take things slow and work your way up."

The magician nodded. "And we'll be right here with you Shin-chan. You don't have to do it all by yourself." The blue eyed teen nodded slightly, and Kaito smiled. He would wait as long as he needed to for Shinichi to be ready to try again. And even if he never was, the thief would always love him. It had taken him almost two years to finally get his two detectives, and he wasn't going to let them go, no matter what.

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 **So...yeah. I'm not the best at writing romance. If it seems odd to you, it's because I have no romantic experience. I'm also aroace, so there's that as well. But _this idea wouldn't fucking leave me alone_ so I finally wrote it.**

 **Let me know what you thought.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Very short chapter, but full of awkwardness, blushing, and fluff.**

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Shinichi felt his entire body heat up in a blush and resisted the urge to curl into a ball and hide. Saguru cleared his throat, his own cheeks red while Kaito was attempting – and failing – to keep the smile off his face. "I realize this is a little awkward," The blond said, and Shinichi made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. "But we have to know what you're comfortable with so we know where to start."

Kaito covered his laugh with a cough and said, "He's right Shin-chan. So no matter how embarrassing it is, you need to answer honestly. Are you comfortable touching yourself?"

The blue eyed detective wondered if it was possible to overheat from a blush, because his face felt as though it were on fire. This was not a conversation he _ever_ thought he'd be having. Let alone with his boyfriends. He doubted his vocal cords would work even if he tried, so he gave the tiniest nod possible. When the older teens' blush deepened, he wondered if it was too late to change his mind.

"Have you ever wanted…" Saguru seemed to be attempting to find the best way to word his next question, and Shinichi felt his stomach drop. That couldn't be good. "Have you ever wanted to… _please_ yourself?" The blue eyed teen was ready for the earth to open up and swallow him whole. He was sure he sounded like a dying animal with the noises he was making, but this was too much.

Setting his elbows on his knees, he covered his face with his hands and nodded again. He was sure Kaito was enjoying this. "Have you ever tried to?" Shinichi felt his bottom lip quiver as he looked up towards the blond, silently begging him to stop. Saguru simply smiling apologetically and waited for his answer.

The dark haired detective didn't want to answer that. He didn't want to admit that he fantasized about his lovers. He didn't want to admit that the thoughts of them touching him made his stomach flutter and heart beat in excitement. He didn't want to admit that he _had_ tried before, only to stop because each time he got close, he remembered _him_ , and the fear brought him back to an almost panic attack. He didn't want to admit that the man who had hurt him so badly when he was little still had so much power over him.

He didn't want to admit the tears of frustration and helplessness he'd shed each time because no matter how much he wanted to feel his lovers' hands caress his skin or feel the press of their bodies without clothing restricting them, each time they tried he was thrown back. He was wretched from their love and tossed back into the swirls of helplessness, hurt, loneliness, and pure terror.

He was ashamed to let them see how helpless he felt about not being able to fight against his past. He was ashamed that even after all this time he couldn't even please himself without remembering. He couldn't do it without freezing up in fear and ending with his head pressed between his knees as his breaths got shorter and his heart beat faster.

But he'd promised them he'd be honest. So he squeezed his eyes shut and nodded.

"Shin-chan," Kaito said, squeezing nest to him in the armchair and wrapping his arms around the detective. Shinichi hadn't realized he'd started shaking. "Do you want to take a break?" Turning his head into the magician's chest, he took a deep breath and relaxed. The thief's scent was familiar and he took a few seconds to calm down before shaking his head. "Are you sure?" He nodded. So long as they didn't expect him to use his words, he could answer a few more questions.

Saguru cleared his throat a little. "Are you comfortable seeing yourself naked?" Shinichi nodded again, not moving from his spot leaning against Kaito. "What about others seeing you naked?" The blue eyed detective turned his head enough to look at the blond. "Are you comfortable going to public bath houses or hot springs?" He shook his head. He'd always hated public baths.

"Shin-chan," Kaito pulled back, causing the detective to frown a bit. The magician's face was serious. "This is probably going to be uncomfortable for you, but we need to find out how far we can go with touching you, alright?" Shinichi swallowed slightly and nodded. "I need you to tell me when it starts to get uncomfortable. Don't try and force yourself to endure it." The blue eyed teen nodded again.

The thief smiled softly and pulled the detective back in for a hug. Shinichi felt his boyfriends' hands resting on his upper back, one slowly sliding down until it was sitting on his lower back. "Is this alright?" He nodded. Kaito's other hand moved and rested on his knee. "And this?" He nodded again. The hand on his lower back slid around his body until it laid over his heart. The magician was grinning again. "This?" Another nod. The hand over his heart moved and he shivered when fingers brushed almost teasingly over his left nipple.

"What about this?" Kaito's hand stopped over his stomach, and Shinichi nodded. The thief placed both his hands on Shinichi's outer thighs. "This?" The blue eyed detective hesitated. It wasn't _uncomfortable_ , but it made him slightly nervous. Just enough for his heart to beat a little faster. Biting the inside of his cheek – a habit of his when he was indecisive – he finally lifted his right shoulder in a half shrug. The magician nodded and very slowly moved his hands to the tops of Shinichi's thighs, his thumbs barely brushing the upper insides.

The detective shook his head – his heart was starting to clench and he could feel his stomach churning. Kaito quickly withdrew his hands and pulled the older teen closer, kissing his temple. Shinichi closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his lover, burying his nose into the thief's chest. He felt his mood plummet. He was this uncomfortable even with clothes on. He was starting to think it was impossible.

Saguru put a hand on Shinichi's back and gently rubbed it up and down. "You're going to get through this," The blond said softly, leaning down to kiss his hair before planting a small kiss on Kaito's cheek. "Don't forget that we're going to help you. You won't be alone."

Shinichi looked up at the older teen and nodded slightly, feeling himself relax. He wasn't alone. "I love you." His voice was a soft mutter, and he could feel his cheeks heat up again as he said it, but he couldn't think of a better way to tell them what they meant to him.

"We love you too Shin-chan," Kaito whispered, kissing him gently.

"We'll always be here for you," Saguru added, giving him his own kiss. "Always."

Shinichi was sure he'd never been happier, and that nobody else was as lucky as he was.

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 **Little by little he'll start healing.**

 **Let me know what you thought!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Another short chapter.**

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Saguru frowned slightly as he pressed the back of his hand to Shinichi's forehead. The blue eyed teen looked _miserable_. "Do you want me to stay with you?" He could afford to miss one class, and with the younger detective like this, the blond didn't feel right leaving him on his own.

"'M okay," Shinichi wheezed, curling onto his side and burrowing into the blankets. "Go."

The half brit didn't move and ran his fingers through the sweaty dark hair. He knew professor Agasa would look after him if asked to, but he didn't want to both the aging man. Kaito had left earlier for his test after Saguru had promised to take care of their sick lover.

"You're obviously not okay," He said softly. Leaning down, he pressed a light kiss to the heated forehead. "Do you think you can try eating something?" The blue eyed detective shook his head before groaning. "Does your head hurt?"

"Mm," He hummed quietly in agreement.

"I'll go get you some medicine. Try to sleep." Pressing a gentle kiss to Shinichi's temple, he stood up and made his way out of the room. He and Kaito couldn't turn their back for even a second or they'd suddenly find that their boyfriend had gotten himself into some sort of trouble, or had caught some type of illness. The blue eyed teen just didn't know how to take care of himself and always put others health and happiness first. Even when he was sick or hurt, he wouldn't say anything because he didn't want others to worry.

The blond and the magician were still trying to break him of that habit, but it was easier said than done.

Grabbing the bottle of painkillers, Saguru filled a glass with water and headed back to Shinichi. As much as he wanted the dark haired detective to take some more cold medicine, it wasn't time for another dose. Setting the two items on the nightstand, the blond crawled behind his boyfriend and gently helped him sit up. Wrapping an arm around him, he allowed the sick teen to lean against him as he shook out two of the little round pills.

"Here," He held them up to Shinichi's lips, "To help with your headache." The blue eyed detective obediently opened his mouth and let the elder teen push the medicine inside. Saguru grabbed the water and helped the sleepy male drink a little to wash down the pills. Setting the glass back on the nightstand, he wrapped both his arms around his boyfriend, using one hand to lightly rub circles on his back.

"Don' wanna get you sick." Shinichi's voice was a little horse, and his words slurred slightly with sleep.

"Get some sleep. You should feel a little better when you wake up." He stayed like that and continued rubbing gentle circled even after the other teen had fallen asleep. Saguru hated it when Shinichi got sick. He always felt a little helpless, because after getting the younger teen to take his medicine, all he could do was wait it out. The worst part though, was that the higher the detectives fever got, the more prone he was to nightmares. The blond couldn't even tell him they weren't real, because his nightmares were more often than not memories of past cases. All he could do was reassure the shaken teen that he and Kaito were fine – because the nightmares were never about his own pain, but of the times Saguru and the magician had been hurt.

Looking up at the door opened, he raised an eyebrow and muttered softly, "Didn't you have a test?"

The thief scoffed quietly. "Already done." The indigo eyed teen made his way to the bed and sat on the other side of the sleeping Shinichi. "How's he doing?"

"Still trying to get me to leave so I don't get sick."

Kaito shook his head with a small smile and lightly pressed a kiss to the sleeping detectives' cheek. "Silly Shin-chan. Haven't you learned by now we're not going to leave you?" Looking up, his face turned solemn. "Saguru, I want to talk to you about something."

Glancing down at the slumbering male in his arms, he whispered, "Do you want to talk here, or in the library?"

"We can talk here, so long as we don't wake Shin-chan." The blond nodded.

"What do you want to talk about?"

The magician carefully intertwined his fingers with Shinichi's. "Shin-chan's getting better." He smiled slightly and continued. "He's trying so hard." Locking eyes with the half brit's, he said, "When he's ready to try again, I think you should be the one to do it with him."

Saguru frowned slightly in thought. He'd assumed the thief would take that part. After all, Kaito had been the one to initiate their first attempt. "Why?"

"Because I know you'll be gentle and go slow." Kaito held up a hand when the blond opened his mouth. "I'm worried I might try and make things go too fast if I get excited. I don't want to accidently hurt Shin-chan – not when he's come this far."

While he understood his younger lovers' reasoning, he had to ask, "What if he decides after that he don't like it?" They both knew that even with Shinichi's progress, there was a very real chance that after finally managing to overcome his trauma he might decide that he still doesn't enjoy sex and refuse to do it again.

"It's like I told Shin-chan – we've gone this long without having sex, and we're still happy. If Shinichi doesn't want to have sex again after, then I'm fine with that. It won't change anything." He grinned at the blond. "And even if he doesn't want it, I still have you."

Saguru chuckled softly, careful not to wake the sick detective. "If that's what you want, it's fine with me. But Kaito," He held the magicians gaze and smiled, "You would never hurt Shinichi, no matter what." Cautiously shifting the blue eyed teen to one arm, he held his other out to the thief. He waited for Kaito to crawl over before wrapping that arm around him and pulling him in for a small kiss. "It doesn't matter how often you embarrass us or torment us with your pranks," He grinned at the others pout, "You would never do anything to hurt either of us."

The magician smiled brightly and nuzzled closer. Holding his two younger lovers, the blond settled back against the headboard and closed his eyes. He was perfectly content to stay there the rest of the day, even if it resulted in him getting sick later.

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 **I may or may not write a shower scene one of these chapters. No shower sex though, sorry. Just two (or three) naked teenagers showering together.**

 **Let me know what you thought!**


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